Missing Nothing
Saturday, April 25, 2009 at 5:38PM “The worst thing about being homesick,” my friend’s dad likes to say, “Is that eventually you aren’t homesick anymore.”
When I told my friend that I missed New York, he reminded me of his dad’s quote. It made me laugh, and it reminded me of a story that my guru Manorama told me about her guru, Shri Brahmananda Sarasvati. Once, when she was a teenager, she went to him and said, “Oh Guru-ji, I’m feeling so sad. I just feel terrible.” (Kind of standard for a teenager, right?) He looked her in the eye and replied, “Really? Hmm. Try feeling more sad. How sad can you make yourself?”
This was definitely not the answer she was looking for – she wanted an ordinary response of “there, there” and “it’ll be all right”. But Guru-ji was no ordinary human being, and rather than dismissing her, he chose to turn it into a lesson and make a few points.
The first is to always acknowledge where you are, whether it be pleasant or unpleasant, good or bad, happy or angry. Yes, you are sad, he was telling her. Don’t concern yourself with trying to change that. Knowing where we are allows us to start from that place. If we don’t know where we are, how can we hope to go anywhere? So acknowledgment – which is different than wallowing, and it’s good to know the difference – is our first big step.
The second point that Guru-ji was making was that all feelings, in time, pass. We’ll be very sad, and then whatever made us sad might make us angry, and then we’ll find that thing funny after a while, or we won’t care about it any more, and so on.
When we’re deep in the drama of our individual story, we’re reinforcing the idea that something’s off kilter in our life, that something’s out of whack, that our life is not unfolding as it’s supposed to. We reinforce the idea that something is missing (“If only I had a better job/boyfriend/wife/life…”).
But if we step back and look at the ups and downs of our lives, we get to see first-hand the transitory nature of all of our drama. It’s like we get a ringside seat to the circus that is life, and we get to enjoy the show! It’s this practice of witnessing that teaches us to see our entire lives, all parts, good, bad, and mediocre, as a sweet gift. And as Guru-ji famously describes yoga, it is the state in which we are missing nothing.
sarvabhutastham atmanam
sarvabhutani catmani
iksate yogayuktatma
sarvatra samadarsanah
He who is disciplined by yoga sees
The Self present in all beings,
And all beings present in the Self.
He sees the same Self at all times.
Bhagavad-Gita VI.29
(translation by Winthrop Sargeant)
Reader Comments (6)
It's good to hear you started a blog. This is very inspirational.
It's amazing how yoga practice can help us rise above transitions in life. No-one can take that feeling away either. I am so grateful to have yoga in my life.
I'm going to check in here from time to time.
We miss you here in NYC, too.
Hope you are well.
Tracey